 evany's extended cake mix 
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Tuesday, Dec. 09, 2003 | link It's weird, the things that we choose to freak out over when it comes to boys. (Scareeech ... like dropping the needle right in the middle of a record, that intro. I am sorry. You deserve much better. Also: those shoes you're wearing are so cute.) Liz and her boyfriend Ivan had this battle awhile back when Liz got to chat-chat-chatting, as is her wont, and Ivan encouraged her to maybe put some sushi in her mouth to stem the flow. "Totally INFURIATING! Isn't that BAD? Complete CENSORSHIP!" Liz demanded. And I was all, "Huh. You know, I don't think that would bother me that much. Not like, say, the thing he said about how he wasn't sure if he'd keep dating you if you gained five pounds." "Oh yeah, the 'five pounds' thing. Eh, whatever." "Hooo. If someone said that to me, I would not be able to let it drop. Just, chew ... chew ... chew," I said. "But maybe that's because I grew up with a dad who once let slip that I had to watch my 'tendency toward frumpiness'." "Yeah," said Liz, "and maybe growing up with a mom who constantly worried that I was going to embarrass her has something to do with my thing." "Huh." "And that's why I never, never EVER want to be edited ... you hear me, Ivan?" "More champagne, ladies?" Some comedian somewhere said something about how our families know how to push our buttons best because they're the ones who built them. Only a button is too tidy a way to describe the phenom, I think. It's more like we're a dog with hot spots, these hairless patches that we worry over and worry over and never quite let heal. And maybe lasting love is nothing more than finding someone whose pointy parts don't line up with our tender patches. Or at least someone capable of holding their pointy parts up and away from our vulnerable areas for long periods of time. Or maybe just someone who knows when it's time to refill the champagne. (Wow this sure does read like one of Carrie's tidy Sex in the City Doogie Howser observations. Once again I owe you all an apology, and maybe hand massages (where "hand"=literally a hand).)
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