My apologies for the ... two month delay in posting, but I have been very, very busy with my new electric toothbrush. It has a built-in timer that tells you when you've finished with the dentist-loving two full minutes of brushing, possibly the longest two minutes ever? Like a cruel and unusual century.

One very exciting thing about the Oral B D17525 3D Excel Pulsating Toothbrush, aside from the fact that it is THREE DIMENSIONAL, is its charger, which pumps the toothbrush full of two incredible weeks' worth of charge, allowing a person (not just me, but anyone) to take all that fiercely motorized bristling on the road, for, say an awww-inspiring wed-ding in Boston or a weekend sojourn to San Diego for a wine- and tiki-torch- and smart-lady-and-two-gentle-gentlemen- and duck-powered bachelorette party weekend at a lush and large resort with the startlingly apt name of "Paradise Point." And good thing, too, because my teeth needed some serious pulsating after dalliances like the "S'more Package" -- which came with all the fixings (including a bundle of firewood and a buxom lad to light it for you) PLUS a six pack of Coke (wow, initially I typed Cock there, right there! A six pack of Cock! No. But I DID walk away from the weekend party favored with an alarmingly articulated cock-and-balls bubbles with mini titty-topped bubble-blowing wand, on a neck lanyard), and a bag of Fritos, and a bag of Cooler Ranch Doritos -- and the "bad idea" combo (or, as Pam dubbed it, "Instant Adult Diabetes": bread pudding and a Juicy Fruit, a teetering, cloudy blue cocktail thing, which did indeed taste exactly like juicy fruit, so sadly) that I ordered scant moments after arriving in Paradise.

When the toothbrush is charging, the light on the charger base glows a comforting blue, which nicely harmonizes with the perky red light of my "beard"-trimmer charger -- together they bathe my bathroom in a concert of garnet and opal. Elsewhere in my small, small studio apartment we see: the turquoise light of my microwave clock (on top of the refrigerator); the pulsating orange lights of my cable modem (under the kitchen table); the red and green lights of the power adapter (at the outlet just above and to the left of my kitchen table); the throbbing green of my charging Sidekick (I'm back to the black-and-white after my color SK had a spectacular meltdown while I was in Los Angeles for thirty seconds in September ... oh woe how I covet Snoopy Dog Dog's Sidekick II!), the green light of my monitor, the blue light of my computer, and the blue pulsing light of my laptop (all four on the table); the orange light on the base of my phone charger (on the bookshelf by my bed), the glowing green numbers of my red Target alarm sphere (on the hideous $15 plastic IKEA bedside compromise), and the glimmering red-to-green light of my Elph battery charger (plugged into the wall by my bed). It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

(PS: My diary has officially moved over to my official evany.com website. Let's meet up over there!)

(PS: My diary has officially moved over to my official evany.com website. Let's meet up over there!)