And the prize for best-ever opening sentence mis-typed into the wrong AIM window goes to...Evany Thomas for the stirring gambit, "Your fetus is beautiful!" sent off to an ex-coworker whom she hadn't spoken to in over a year.

Meanwhile, you know what has been driving me completely crazy lately? (And I plan on using this in my next standup comedy routine, so no stealing!) What is the deal with the extendo voicemail instructions these days? After your friend's outgoing message plays, "I'm sorry, I can't take your call right now, I'm off shopping for memory foam!" Then, THEN comes the most endless, obvious series of "tips" from the voicemail computer voice. "Please leave your message after the beep," the computer advises. Is there anyone left on earth who does not know what to do after the beep? "If you'd like to enter a numeric page..." is paging actually something people still do? And if so, do they need to be told that the page needs to be numeric? Does someone who needs to be told that the page needs to be numeric even understand what the word "numeric" means? "Once you have finished recording your message, you may hang up," really? "or press pound for more options." Oh my god.

And another Desperate Housewives recap is up at Television Without Pity.

(PS: My diary has officially moved over to my official evany.com website. Let's meet up over there!)

(PS: My diary has officially moved over to my official evany.com website. Let's meet up over there!)