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Monday, Mar. 24, 2003 | link In 1996, I took a job at this web design boutique in Sausalito, which was about four earth inches away from the movie theater I used to work at when I was in high school. It was a little weird to find myself, ten years later, getting stuck in traffic behind the same tourists, eating lunch at the same deli, and trying to stay out of the way of the very same walking, barking anti-drug advertisement, Stigo, who used to buy us all beer (after trying, each and every time, to get us to come back to his van for some beers that he had just opened, swear to god). Then I actually started going to my old high school after work to swim laps, and that was triple-extra weird. There sure is nothing like shivering into a not-quite-dry-from-yesterday's-swim lap suit while standing in the very same rusted locker room that you shivered into similarly damp suits when you were 16 to really make you feel how un-far your life has come. In the list of emotionally risky locations that simply do not need revisiting, the site where I spent my most awkward, self-hyperconscious years getting naked in front of peering peers ranks right up there.
Aside from the incredible sadness of the bombing and crashing and prisoner-taking, which is all just heart-sickening, reliving the war has also (back to ME!) launched some unwelcome life-measuring. How far, exactly, have I come since 1991? I'm in school again, I'm still not really sure where I'm headed next, I'm spending my evenings watching almost identical footage of bombs hitting Bagdad. Huh! I am a quarter-inch taller, though. OK, an eighth. OK, I'm actually shrinking.
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