You know that commercial where the kid shake-shake-shakes up the liter of orange soda and it erupts all over his mother as she's washing dishes? Mom turns and yells, "Billy! What are you doing?!" Then, zing!, she says, "This works MUCH better!" and she opens up on Billy with the spray nozzle from the sink.

I think that ad is trying to sell me paper towels or something, but man, it'd work much better as an ad for tablets that tame manic depression. Or at the very least some sort of notably decaffeinated something. Or maybe the Church of the Later Day Saints?

Because that mom is not the zany, fun-loving mom I think they were going for, she is scary, out-of-control, ha-ha-HA-HAA-HAHHAHAHA, manic-cycle mom. Though I guess if I'm really honest with myself, what better portrait of someone who needs insane amounts of paper towels is there? OK, never mind. That ad is awesome.

But you know what ad just, oh my god, just makes me want to blow my brain out? That "zoom, zoom, zoom" one, with the horrible reggae singing. They've been playing it for years now, but for some reason, I guess it's unbelievably, rip-roaringly successful, they never retire it. It's gotten so that all I have to hear is the first half of the first Zoom from that demon-whispering prep school boy and I'm flying for the remote. It's just "Zo-" and then MUTE! I silence you! I hate you and then I silence you. Shh.

Yay, televisionnn!

(PS: My diary has officially moved over to my official evany.com website. Let's meet up over there!)

(PS: My diary has officially moved over to my official evany.com website. Let's meet up over there!)